into obscurity..

There are probably a hundred things I could say as I stare into this horrible white box. I have begun to have a great mixture of feelings towards the model. Most of them are loathing, disgust, and apathy. I look at my portfolio and think.. So What? I just don't have the ego that people might think I do. I had (I say had because I probably lost most of them) dozens of photographs, magazines and books with my image in them; I didn't keep track of them because they don't mean anything to me. I do mostly content now because I like to get payed and go home. So where does this leave my "career"? No where.

I am pretty well done with this. The general public on the internet has helped this along. I just can't stomach the insulting, degrading and brazen comments. Do I want to see your penis? NO! I want that about as much as I would like one of my cats to take a dump on my pillow. In the end it has made me even more disgusted with people. Every time someone addresses me as Jynx I cringe. Here it comes, I think.. the stupid questions, the insinuations, the assumptions. I am not the person you want me to be. I am much less interesting, at least in the ways you would think.

If you want to know more about me, that's just too bad. My life is not for the general public and the internet. All in all I am pretty well done being a mannequin.
Now if you will excuse me, I have paintings to work on.